fizzyginger: If Prince Charles’s ringtone isn’t I Just Can’t Wait to be King then what’s the point
babyalpha: rickgrimed: it’s weird how you can just pick up a cat and take it where you please cos if someone picked me up and relocated me i would be screaming the entire time
wittywallflower: Writing is weird. One minute you are telling a story. The next minute you are researching the average amount of snowfall Edinburgh gets.
non-english speaker: I am awfully sorry at the terrible state of my English abilities, as for the English language is not my mother tongue. I hope you forgive me for every foolish mistake I make.
english as first language: lol it okei
graystripe: graystripe: my brother just tried to twerk but he farted by accident and now hes crying he said hes “disgraced the whole family”
thiefkings: thiefkings: thiefkings: my new years resolution is not to murder any of my classmates wait that makes it sound like i have previously murdered some of them my new years resolution is to continue this streak of not having murdered any classmates
Was your ass forged by Sauron?
duelpersonality: horrordolls: Because that shit looks precious. ‘I cannot understand the fiery letters,’ he said. ‘No, but I can,’ Gandalf answered. ‘The letters are Asslish, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Sphinctor, which I shall not utter here. But in the common tongue this is what it says:’ “One butt to shake it all, one butt to grind them. One butt to drop down low and...
icanbarelyspeak: not-thefunniestblog: if kate middleton doesn’t present the baby to the world from her balcony the same way rafiki presented simba they are doing it wrong when Michael Jackson did that people got really mad
cumberbitchsandwich: the-ponds-killed-my-fez: askclint: Does everybody notice that Watson says “God, yes” to Sherlock when their adventure begins And the last thing he says is “God, no” when it ends i didnt know satan watched sherlock he not only watches it, he also created it
daveakhiin: heyitspj: marymargee: I JUST FOUND MY SEVENTH GRADE MATH TEACHER ON A GAY PORN WEBSITE OH MY SWEET JESUS why were you on a gay porn website for oatmeal recipes why the fuck do you think
can-you-hear-that-syren: Me during the 2012 “apocalypse”.
azurechronism: jesusthelastairbender: what if romney was elected and barack obama just sat in his office and said “no”
a non-violent threat
abakkus: skullgreymon: I hope you roll over your fingers with a gym scooter what the fuck do you mean non-violent that’s vicious as shit
that-spook-from-london: foodtrucker: the invention of the shovel was ground breaking but the invention of the broom was the one that truly swept the nation.
windicuffs-tier: one day i wanna see a chef taste his food after he finishes it and go “oh god this is terrible” “dont make this”
marththebland: vondell-swain: marththebland: vondell-swain: galosengen: octopusoracle: if you think our economy is bad just be thankful you dont live in neopia holy shit i thought inflation was bad when I was there it’s like postwar germany take your wheelbarrow of neopoints to the market to buy a loaf of bread you’re right neopets is exactly like postwar germany there is...